You are worth dying for

                      

     

I would like to share my thoughts on relationships. Yes. This is my thoughts, and I'm still very young, so I know I still have SO much to learn. I should rather say I would like to share my thoughts, which have been shaped by experience, other peoples thoughts and experience, books, movies and most of all by God. So you could actually say that I'm sharing my journey up until now and how I feel about it. 

This is as personal as it can get. 

And I expect you not to agree with everything, but maybe, for some, you can find some truth.

For me, relationships is what life is about. It's how we function every second of everyday. Your relationship with your family, friends, loved one, strangers, yourself and God. Each one as important as the other. It affects you emotionally, mentally and physically. It shapes who you are. It's the deciding factor on your choices and the paths you follow in life. I believe that is why Jesus was so focused on relationships when He was on earth, He knew this was the best way to make an impact and to share the truth. 

Everybody has this deep desire, this need to belong. It's why the Gr. 4's in my class are constantly fighting their way into groups, wanting to belong. You experience this need even more from children coming from broken homes. Belonging means safety. It means your loved. Your accepted. Your special. This is why you immediately become vulnerable. You allow the other person to be apart of your life, to shape who you are.

I have seen so many people in abusive relationships and people allowing the person nearest to them to hurt them. Immediately forgiving them, because, you know, he loves me. It won't happen again. I deserve this. 

The thing that upsets me the most is that the person being abused really believes all these lies the other person is feeding them. Manipulating every situation, every word, every movement so that you find yourself completely lost in what happened and out of pure exhaustion gives in. Taking the blame the other person so perfectly planned, you fall into another lie, constantly shaping who you are becoming.  These abusive relationship have the perfect timing, brilliantly keeping you prisoned in lies of promises. Manipulating you in believing you deserve all the lies and even makes you believe that you are lucky to be in this relationship, despite your flaws. 

The whole point of an abuser is to make you feel that without him/her you are worthless. And this person just loves to remind you of this lie, as soon as you start to doubt them. 

The irony of this is that, within this relationship you are actually accepting that you are worthless, that you deserve to be treated like an object, being shaped to fit perfectly in the abusers hands. You lose all of yourself, being shaped each day to be more and more worthless, becoming someone you can't even recognize. 

Then you get people who are not in a committed relationship but rather in desperate need of one. Some  people become so desperate to belong, to be loved, to feel safe, that they accept any form of "love" , giving themselves to anybody who are willing to give it to them. Even if it is only for one night. You start believing that this "friends with benefits" or "one night stands" means more, when the sad reality usually ends with you getting hurt, and you can't even blame the other person since they were quite clear on where they stood. 

Well this is quite depressing, so let me get to the positive part. 

If you find yourself in the situations above, the problem lies with you.

Waaait, hold up. Yes. I just said that. And I want you to read it again.

The problem lies with you. 

This is not depressing and you should not even for a second think that you deserve what is happening to you. The thing is, as soon as you realize that the problem lies within you, you realize that you have all the power to change it. It gives you power. The ability to change. To get out. 

The problem is that you believe that you deserve all of this. You deserve a person emotionally and/or physically abusing you. You deserve to share yourself with a person that, to be honest, doesn't give a damn about you. You deserve to be treated as an average person. Nothing special about you. 

It's within this problem that I found myself, that I read something that completely blew my mind.  ( I read this in the book from Rob Bell, SexGod)          

            

  

"For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."

Jesus so loved the church that He died for her. He says here that the husband must be wiling to lay down his life for his wife. 

That she is worth dying for. 

Do you realize that you deserve someone that will die for you?  Isn't that the ultimate form of love?  An abuser could definitely convince you that he /she could die for you, since they have mad manipulating skills, but the sad reality is that this person is so self-centered, so self-involved, they love themselves waaay more than they will ever love you, and will most definitely not be able to give up their lives for you. Never mind the person that doesn't even want to be in a committed relationship with you. 

You are worth dying for. 

It's when you are in a relationship, that reflects the relationship that Jesus had with the church, that you are completely yourself, being loved just the way you are, that you are secure. That you feel safe. That you feel worthy. You need to be able to love one another so much that you are willing to lay down your life for each other. That is true love. And everybody deserves this love. Jesus laid down His life for the church. We are the church. If Jesus loves you so much, that He died for you, don't you think you deserve the same earthly love? 

You are worth dying for. 

Don't let anybody make you believe differently. 

Your glory is so beautiful

                           

               

        

You know my complete obsession with All sons and daughters? Well, yeah. I admit it. I have a side to me that can become, to put it lightly, obsessed. Not really putting it lightly, is it?

         

         

I have their live CD constantly playing in my car and every week I get a knew song to obsess about. This week it's, "Your glory". Man, o man, do I love this song! This song's lyrics are so true for me. I often find myself in complete awe of God's glory. How perfectly beautiful He is. I sometimes struggle to put it in words, but now I have this song I can sing.

I have recorder a cover for you. I hope you fall in love with the song as I did.

https://soundcloud.com/andriette-de-la-harpe/your-glory-all-sons-and 

Your glory is so beautiful. 

God wears lipstick

                    

   

Last year I was going through a bit of a rough time emotionally and spiritually. I felt disconnected from God and embarrassed that I have lost myself in earthly matters. And more so that I have turned away from Him, knowing that He was the only one able to help me. I reach a point where God literally ripped all the things that kept me away from Him, out of my hands that I could finally hit rock bottom and realize that He was my rock. With desperation I walked into a Christian book store, dying to hear God's words, that I stumbled upon a book called, "SexGod". Yes. I know. That's quite a daring title for a book, and to be honest I felt a bit weird and uncomfortable even holding it. I knew the author very well, Rob Bell, and loved all his previous work. So I decided to give it a go.

                                                      

         

To this day, it has been one of the most mind-blowing-saywhat?-wow-I-never-thought-of-that books I have ever read. And I would love to share one of the images described in this book. 

The book focusses on a human's sexuality. The word encompassing several aspects, one of which is our humanity. Our humanity..our sexuality..is what differs us from animals and angels. It's what defines us. Neither angel nor animal. God has placed something unique in all human beings: we reflect what God is like and who God is. 

Everybody is the bearers of the divine image. 

Its when people objectify others that we strip them of their humanity. Instead of reflecting God, they reflect a nothingness. And its in this nothingness that people lose hope. In the book, Rob Bell tells a story of the war, where a soldier gives his account of a concentration camp.  A concentration camp's purpose was to strip away any humanity from the people. Leaving them naked, bare, objects, worthless, hopeless. The soldier recounts something that happened one specific day. 

"It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we wanted, we were screaming for hundreds of other things and I don't know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it. It was an action of genius, sheer brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees that the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nighty but with Scarlet red lips. You would see them wandering with nothing but a blanket, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a women dead on a table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, not merely a tattooed number on their arm. At last they could take interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity. " 

Our humanity reflects God within us. Without it we lose sight of who we are within God. 

Sometimes all you need is a little bit of lipstick. 

Courage is grace under pressure

                       

It started with one person. One dream. One vision. One purpose. And a burning desire to for full this image, stenciled on his heart.

It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.
Ephesians 1:11

We are all destined for something. For some of us it is as clear as daylight, for others its been more of a struggle. But in the end, we all have a purpose. A reason for living. And this specific purpose has been designed by God specifically and uniquely for each one of us. Even if you feel a bit lost and without a purpose, know that God has planned something special for you and that you have been busy with your purpose since the day you were born.

For Francois Stone (my pastor), his purpose started to take shape in an image of a church. But, not the usual type of church, but rather something new. ( A tent in the middle of a farm had a sense of madness connected to it, but we went along with it). Consumed by this picture in his head, thoughts, words and heart, he took a leap of faith 3 years ago, courageously bringing this picture into reality.



                                      

Today his picture has a name and a community, growing gracefully in the presence of God. I asked him to write something about our church, iConnect, and would love to share it with you:

"Our name says a lot about who we are: iConnect …with God, myself, my purpose, my family and other people. This is so simple, but we believe that this, in a way, sums up the reason for us being here on earth – to connect with our Creator, our purpose… other people.

Another one of our sayings is: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication! We don’t need a multi – million auditorium to get together in worship. We use a tent, but it is so beautiful, situated just out of town in a eucalyptus forest. Everything speaks of simplicity, but at the same time of sophistication. We don’t even try to be “smart” in our teachings, seating and worship, but people find a place where they experience something that money can’t buy – a relationship.

And that is exactly how Jesus described our connection with the Father, in the simple, but deep image of a father and a child. And we all need to be in such a simple, personal relationship with Him. Even if people are not even aware of it. There is a holy hunger in every living human being— a hunger from the Father with Father"

My very first song I sang at the very first service of iConnect is the Afrikaans version of Amazing Grace. Yes, I know. I believe God is a bit of a show off! Planning that song so frikin perfectly.

Whats your image? Your picture? The one thing that makes your heart tumble, makes your words come out 10 at a time, the one thing that you literally have no doubt about. The one thing that keeps you awake at night, and makes you dream in the day?

Remember:God's grace is upon you.

Take that step.

Be courageous.