So my holidays are over and its back to school, back to reality. I am lucky enough to be teaching an amazing group of Gr. 4's - 8/9 year olds. Yes, my biggest passion is music but coming very close to it is teaching those crazy kids every week. I really don't want to go into the debate of why teaching is one of the most for fulling jobs and reeeaaallly do not want to touch the "you-are-permanently-on-holiday" discussion (one which my friends love to keep reminding me of) I rather want to share one of many moments where my heart literally bursted from gratitude and pure joy during these "few" hours spent with my kids.
Our topic for the week was fear/scary stories and I was asking the learners to share some experiences they have had. The main fear for most of my learners were the fear of the dark. And the intense and very real monsters that would come and visit them in the night. The atmosphere in the class was quite daunting when a boy started to share his story. (It is very important that you read the next bit in a "Cape/Kaapse/coloured" accent)
"Mam, I did lie in my bed, nuh, mam, and I was looking at the door, mam, and then suddenly mam, I saw a hand, mam!!!!
I almost peed in my pants, mam! "
(Please note that I have a "did" jar for every time they use the word incorrectly) - I am coining it.
(I told them to dress up as pirates to protect themselves...)
Its really amazing how much "power" darkness can hold. Its the fear of not being able to see clearly, that revs up our imagination to such extremes that even the worst scary movie can't beat it. All our senses go on fire and even the slightest crack or movement sets 10 alarms off in one second.
I've been struggling with loads of insecurities and uncertainties as many of us do...and it gets worse the older we get. From basic things as work, money, employment, to hard life choices that must be made. Insecurities about our self, still doubting "Am I good enough? Pretty enough? Funny enough? Active enough? Thin enough? " continues to lurk behind the walls long after high school. Insecurities and uncertainties have a tendency to from lies, imaginary monsters and hands ready to choke you, frightening you so much you "want to pee in my pants." The reality is, when you put on the light, they seem to disappear. You are filled with relief and confronted by the truth, that the hand was indeed just the shadow of a tree.
Harmless.
Every time you doubt yourself and insecurities fill your room, you are turning off the lights and you start to believe these imaginary lies.
You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.
2 Samuel 22:29 (#1 of 25 Bible Verses about Light)
What do we do when we are afraid of the dark?
We switch on the light.
