We found love

                           

I was 11 when I first fell in love. I was busy walking home, when he appeared like a Backstreet Boys poster driving towards me on a bicycle.  Instead of playing it cool and Baby Spicing it up, my body decided to do the exact opposite of what the smooth voice inside of my head was telling it to do. Needless to say, I pretty much stayed invisible, melting so effortlessly into my surrounding environment, that not even my dog could sniff me out. It was when I saw his perfectly scribbled handwriting on my desk, him "hearting" the most popular girl, that I literally felt my own heart falling into my stomach, killing all the butterflies on its way down. 

And so came my first heartbreak. (Yes, I know he never knew of my existence, but it was very real to me! ) 

I am writing this post out of a girl's perspective so I am not generalising it to include the man's domain. I always thought that I understood men, but these days I really doubt my ability to read their minds. Talking to a lot of my girlfriends, I think this is pretty much the general process of this thing we call love. 

Welcome to the inner workings of a woman's mind. ( It's a pleasure) 

There is nothing more exciting than talking to your friends about your love life. (Or more boring for some of us, hehe). When people get together, you always start with the boring/polite questions of things you need to get out of the way so that you can get to the juicy stuff. Then hours can pass and we are as happy as can be, relishing in each others stories and sometimes gossip. We can watch the Notebook for the 100th time and still cry, hoping secretly that this will happen to you, because, you know, every girl deserves to be kissed in the rain, with swans, and Ryan Gosling. Then there's Moulin Rouge. O, my.. This is one of those movies where only my dearest people can watch it with me. Next to Lion King, this is the movie where I know every-single-word and karaoke reaches a new level. Singing both parts, like a boss. 

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

That just happened.
                                        

Ok, so seriously, what is this obsession with the human race and love. It's as if we have this internal instinct that kicks in after the age of "cooties" that drives us socially and emotionally. And sometimes it drives us completely mad. 

I've heard some people hypothesizing that the heart has a memory. It saves moments of how we physically feel during a moment of pure ecstasy or hell. It's like a ticking bomb, beating according to the rhythm of how you feel, exploding when you meet the one, and physically breaking when you lose him.  It controls your mind. Having so much power it blinds your eyes, makes you deaf and sufficates your rational thinking. Love is blind, right? It's such a powerful organ, that during the most difficult times of my life, my heart physically hurt inside my chest. Over dramatic...maybe...especially when you move into your "Ugly cry", but it's real. It's there at that moment.

When I meet someone, I physically look better. I may excercise a bit more, but it's as if my skin has been waiting for its moment to shine like Edward from Twilight. I radiate happiness. Of course..at the moment with winter and all, I look like the walking dead. My skin is literally invisible showing all my blue vains as if I am a map or something. Not my finest moment. 

When you are single, like me, or in an unhealthy relationship, you can't help but wonder, when is it my turn? Your social calender fills up with so many events, just incase you meet him there, even though you would much rather stay in bed. Winter is the worst. All my couple friends hibernate and I'm stuck with my electric duvet keeping me warm. You force yourself into the cold, go out, meet people, get bored, drive home, jump into your bed wishing you never left your amazing electric duvet, who is always there for you. Then realise how sad it is that you have such an incredible relationship with your bed.

Then you meet him. The one. And with amazing skin you love the world your in, walking on
sunshine, singing your own background music. And without realising it you're making youself so vulnerable, opening your heart up for him to play the beat. And it is amazing. Worth it. 

Then there comes a time, and most of us have experienced it, when the relationship comes to an end. Both hearts being ripped away from each other that it stops beating. (This is the time when the best songs ever were written) and it stays with you. 

I really do believe that a person can get "over" the other person. Not being in love with him. But what you've had, the relationship, the memories, how you felt will always be imprinted on your heart. And no matter how far you have moved on, when you see your ex with someone else, your heart can't help but skip a beat. 

You see, at the end of a relationship, your heart needs to find a new rhythm it can beat to, that's why a lot of people jump into the next relationship. I do believe that it's important that you find your own rhythm. That you are capable of living on your own. Being happy on your own. So that when you meet him, the "one", you can create a symphony together. 

We were made to be in pairs. God made Adam and immediately he created Eve. He planned it this way. 

Because He wanted us to experience just a glimpse of how much He loves us.

                           

    

We fall in love, we fall out of love, we break hearts and our hearts get broken.

And yet, no matter how many times we get hurt, we will always try again. Never give up (I sound like an epic song right now). Life is about love. 

Enjoy it. 

May I have this dance?

Click on the icon to listen to Dans 

People always ask me what inspires me to write a song. Is it a melody? The lyrics or a bible verse? For me, most of the time God gives me an image. I start dreaming about it, people will randomly start talking about it, and my thoughts would constantly move around it.

I am 24 and at this age all my friends are either in a extremely serious relationship,engaged, married, some even having babies and then there is me. The group of people falling into the single category. Where this group of people usually were the majority and absolutely loving every single moment (pun intended) the mood has sifted to an almost hysterical depression of "I'm going to DIE ALONE!" . This group tend to be of the female gender since our need for a relationship seems to be more intense. And the fear of being that scary cat lady has never found the male version (My love for cats has decreased just for safety).

My conversations with all my single girlfriends always tend to follow the same pattern. " I love my life." I can do whatever I want." "I just love having time for myself." "Did you hear they got engaged?" "Maybe at their wedding I will meet my man." "Will I ever meet the one?", "I had a date with an ass", "All the good ones are taken", "I hate being on my own.",  "I'm too fat.", "I hate my life". "I'm not good enough.", "I deserve to be alone."

And then it came. The image that blew me away. Simple.

I found myself on the dance floor. Surrounded by people, and this one man was standing in front of me. Looking at me. I kept looking around, hoping that someone would want to dance with me. Praying. And there He was. Standing. Waiting. When I finally realized that He was there, He took me in His arms and danced with me.  And it was just us. Nobody else. The other people just seemed to disappear. I felt worthy.

What we don't realize, is that in this time, our "single" time, we have the ultimate opportunity to give everything to Jesus. He wants us for Himself. We are so stressed out and spend most of our time looking, searching for "Mr. Right" that we completely miss the perfect man right in front of our eyes. Jesus.

We are not alone because we're not worthy, instead we should completely shift our way of thinking. We are alone because we ARE worthy. We deserve the best. And until  our man has been shaped by God to be the best, we will remain in Jesus's arms. Dancing. Enjoying every second with Him. Only when our "Mr. right" is right, will he have the guts to cut in with your dance with Jesus.

I have written a rough draft of a song, hoping it will bring justice to this image. I have written it in my home language, Afrikaans. and will give you just a rough translation. The song is sung out of Jesus's perspective.

Dans                                                                                 Dance

Jou oe dwaal, my lief                                                                  Your eyes are all around, my love
kyk na my                                                                                  Look at me
Neem my hand, vertrou op my                                                    Hold my hand, trust me
want ek is in beheer                                                                    I am in control
kom saam met my                                                                      Follow me

Liefling                                                                                       My dear
fokus net op my                                                                         Look at me
ek weet jys bang jy bly aleen                                                      I know you are afraid of being alone
maar jy's veilig hier by my                                                           But your safe with me
kom saam met my                                                                      Follow me

Kom dans met my, vertrou net op my                                         Dance with me, trust me
Kom draai hier in my arms rond,                                                Keep turning in my arms
voel die ritme in jou lyf                                                               Feel the rhythm in your body
want saam is ons alles,                                                               Together we are one
dis net ek en jy vanaand                                                             Tonight its just you and me
vergeet van jou pyn                                                                    Forget your pain
en kom dans                                                                              And dance

Ek kyk na jou, my lief'                                                              I look at you, my dear
so kosbaar vir my                                                                     Precious for me
as jy net deur my oe kon sien                                                    If you could see through my eyes
jou waarde heg aan my                                                             Attach your worth to Me
kom saam met my                                                                     Follow me

I have recorder a very rough version of this song on GarageBand, so please listen with a kind heart. I am still working on the arrangement and hopefully one day be able to record a good quality version of it. This is so scary, but here we go!!


When you feel down and the single depression bites you, look up.

He is right there.

Ready to dance.